Dig, if you will, the picture, of a large stone sitting on the beach.
The stone has tumbeld down to its current resting place from the top of the craggy mountainside above. On the long trip down, the rock bounced and smashed agianst other rocks, causing chunks of its surface to ping off, leaving gashes and pits and blemishes all over.
It sits now, ugly, abused, and angry-looking, with all of its sharp edges sticking out everywhichway,
Imagine how, each day, the stone disappears under the water as the tide rolls in and out.. Consider that the sediments in the water will wear on the surface of the stone, and will work like super-fine-grade sandpaper, wearing away all the rough patches on the stone and creating a smooth, almost polished finsh. The stone looks so much better than it did when it sat high up on the mountainside!
This, my friends, is what I believe happens to us when we endure conflict. Someone, or something, or some situation lambastes us, and we feel just like that rock, tumbling, out of control, down and down, smashing against one hard situation after another, hurling toward an uncertain landing place - a new reality.
Unlike the rock, who reaches the bottom and sits, hard, on the ground, it is often difficult for humans to realize the moment when we have gotten through, or overcome, the adversity that originally beset us. We seem to transition into the polishing phase with very little thought given to the fact that the original, emergent offense actually happend quite some history ago, and the fact that we actually survived a seemingly world-ending crisis is typically not as celebrated as it should be.
Also, we usually don't see our own freshly formed jagged edges, blemeshis, or craggs. In humans, these are oft manifested as jaded attitudes about and waryness of others, or in fits of depression, rage, or apathy (among other things).
Mercifully, the refining is on its way and begins almost immediately - the tidewaters here are the ebb and flow of life, which will cover us with new, fond memories. Hugs from our children, firefly lit summer picnics, meals shared with good friends, and a million other tiny moments of blessing will wear down the sharp places, slowly...slowly.
Soon those new craggs and jaggs brought on by that trip down the mountainside will be nothing more than a lesson learned, or a story to pass on to others about conflict resolution.
If we are truly honest, they will be stories of "a thing that made me a little bit better".
So, as I sit in the ebb and flow of the tide of life, waiting for my most recent jags to become evened out, and to see what new shape I will take as a result of this process, I am trying my human best to appreciate conflict.
It is always more easily done from on the other side.
